Hi! Long time no see….Sad news though. One of our neighbour committed suicide! Super disturbing as I saw them taking the body away. Now what must be the mental state of that man who took his life so lightly! How heavy was his heart and mind that initiated this move…..

Long time

Funny how it took me 22 years to understand that I hurt myself and I heal myself!

Overcoming process

It all started when I chose to accept the fact that every year I grew older, my wounds faded. But little did I know, I was carrying the scar with me all the time and hid it from everyone. One fine day I showed it to a person I was fond of, and surprisingly “Your scars are beautiful! I will always remind you that you’re just perfect because of them and with them.” was the response. The comfort I felt was something I can never express. But as an actual flawed human, I did the same wound to that person, although it wasn’t something anyone deserved. Everytime I received good, I gave all the bad in return. Reminded me of my own wounds, the Shame and guilt just overwhelmed me. I couldn’t really figure as to why I was evil and toxic minded. I tried figuring out, and all that I realized was, I was just comforted and loved by others. Only if I had appreciate my wound’s journey, only if I had told myself the same comforting words instead of finding someone to accept me the way I was, maybe I wouldn’t be hurting others, maybe I would be less insecure, and a lot happier.

So I decided to act according to my understanding, and the process was hard. Apologized to that person and without hesitation I got all the support. I wasn’t fighting with myself alone this time! I have a really charming personality supporting me.

The battle just baffled me about my entire existence. I took a break, and gave it my best to get a proper understanding, and saw my time being wasted. I realized that all this while I was giving it all the importance instead of investing my time in something more important. The scars will never disappear, it will always remind you of all the bad that happened. There’s never an overcoming process for such deep wounds. It’s about learning something from it. Self love is just a mode to forget about it for a while. The more we fight it, the more we get hurt, especially when we lose the battle. I’m certain that atleast few self wars can be fought by diverting your complex mind from the reason which initiates it.

Letter to theΒ  Good Dead End

With deficient pen and language,Β  I gabble
Cup of Perplexed personality, with a pinch of anxiety I drink
Starting my day in my uninteresting bubble
Haunted by the sound of the knell bell ring

Confuting with shadows
Walking to fight the mind-tide
Running straight to the good meadows
Bitterly survived, even on the bright side

Empathising all thy snags
Bracing self, to fulfill your latent dreams
Giving up on mine, to withdraw your past tags
Blame your mindset and nurture tree, not me.

With narcissists and harassers around
Feeling feeble among finicky people
Fond of just one person; with patience I found
All to suffice the Craving of Coddle

Kudos to her! She made it through
Proud of her, she sustained the vulnerability really strong
Get her Wreaths of Red Roses, in her heavenly abode she will bloom
After aeons of battles, she’s back to the place where she belongs

                                     -Jennifer Roselinn